— To follow is a bullet of wisdom on leadership. It comes from Tom’s rifle, named Shot, who has seen it all. You’ll get the drift by clicking Blog in the menu at www.tomnewhouse.com. —
DEFENSIVENESS, THAT IS. What does it do to listening? Kills it! So too is the effect of needing to be right. These are perspectives of oneself. But listening goes to the perspective of others. As a rifle, I learned that defensiveness is offensive, strange as that may seem.
What would happen if you really listened? I said “really.” Could you lead better? Better than when just talking? With genuine listening—without pre-judgment, without self-promotion, and, yes, without defensiveness—you get to fresh, mutually beneficial alternatives. You engage others when you listen with interest, with empathy, with gentle thought-provoking questions. Get that: good ideas and engagement. You’re leading.